Each morning I woke up in denial lying to my self, brainwashing my self its going to be a good day. "You're going to be okay. Focus on work, focus on doing anything just keep your mind off him." The morning alway started slow. It was like pulling teeth.. such a painful feeling, wishing I didn't have to deal with it at all. He was the first thing I thought of when I opened my eyes, I some how couldn't seem to shake that feeling. I told my self "you haven't mastered it yet young one" I looked ahead sitting up for a few moments and then something on the right side of my room caught my eye. There it was staring me in the face; a shelf with two picture frames.
The frames had my favourite two pictures of us from when it all began. It was the happiest of moments that I always found my self travelling back to. I didn't have the guts to pack them up or throw them away. At least not just yet. Every morning was the same old routine; wake up.. look towards those pictures, and for a few minutes wish that I could just go back to when it all came to be. But that wasn't the reality of it. He was so far gone there was no returning. I wasn't even a consideration any more. He had wiped the slate clean, picked his self right up and acted like the last five years hadn't happened at all. Thoughts ran through my mind, things I wanted to say to him but I couldn't text him or call him. I just had to write it down and pretend that he saw it and never replied.
Dear Mr. K,
Every morning I wake up and find my self missing you. I always seem to think tomorrow will be easier but each day just seems to get harder. I wish I could tell you to please come back but those words aren't even an option. I guess in time I'll be ok or at least I would like to think so. But I don't think its possible. You were my everything and as sappy and stupid as that may sound I am not ashamed of feeling this way. I know you would call me weak right about now and probably laugh at me because you were such a rock and I was always the ball of mush when it came to you. But I hope where ever you are what ever you're doing I hope some where inside of you there's a light that shines for me. I hope you find your way back. Because I'm miserable without you.
Love always Miss H
And as you can see I was drowning in denial.
The frames had my favourite two pictures of us from when it all began. It was the happiest of moments that I always found my self travelling back to. I didn't have the guts to pack them up or throw them away. At least not just yet. Every morning was the same old routine; wake up.. look towards those pictures, and for a few minutes wish that I could just go back to when it all came to be. But that wasn't the reality of it. He was so far gone there was no returning. I wasn't even a consideration any more. He had wiped the slate clean, picked his self right up and acted like the last five years hadn't happened at all. Thoughts ran through my mind, things I wanted to say to him but I couldn't text him or call him. I just had to write it down and pretend that he saw it and never replied.
Dear Mr. K,
Every morning I wake up and find my self missing you. I always seem to think tomorrow will be easier but each day just seems to get harder. I wish I could tell you to please come back but those words aren't even an option. I guess in time I'll be ok or at least I would like to think so. But I don't think its possible. You were my everything and as sappy and stupid as that may sound I am not ashamed of feeling this way. I know you would call me weak right about now and probably laugh at me because you were such a rock and I was always the ball of mush when it came to you. But I hope where ever you are what ever you're doing I hope some where inside of you there's a light that shines for me. I hope you find your way back. Because I'm miserable without you.
Love always Miss H
And as you can see I was drowning in denial.